It’s the first Monday of the New Year – how are those resolutions coming?
When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, the people I know tend to fall into one of three categories:
1. The super-disciplined, who can and do make self-improvements on a regular basis regardless of the season. These guys see goals as personal challenges, and weakness as a nemesis to vaporize.
2. The adamantly content, who spend the first week of every new year actively and loudly eschewing resolutions. They know that they’re not going to change, so they’ve decided not to want to – and they really want you to be free as well.
3. The earnest but struggling, who go through a self-imposed cycle of shame every year. I tend to be among them. December 31st, for me, is a day of hard assessment. January 1st brings elated motivation and an illogical sense of optimism. Then somewhere around January 15th, when all of my efforts have come to few if any visible results, I begin to slip. By February, I am publicly mocking myself so that everyone knows I failed again – but I’m really okay with it!
That’s because breaking up my fallow ground, as the Bible puts it, is hard work. In fact, gardening is the perfect metaphor for my efforts, because it is equally deceptive.
Gardening magazines and books all feature lovely, idyllic photos as their centerpieces, don’t they? Most display peaceful images of cultivated yards complete with bright, healthy blooms and lush greenery, outdoor furniture staged in relaxed positions, and perhaps even a bonus water source or bird house. Catalogs of gardening tools show us smiling ladies patting the dirt with grace and surrounded by shiny, clean instruments – all artfully arranged to demonstrate how simple and rewarding the task is.
I’ve seen farmers and gardeners at work, even helped a family member or two with their horticultural endeavors, and it is not pretty. The picture we should see, if some one truly wanted to prepare us, would be of a profusely sweating gardener, gritting her teeth, armed head to toe with heavy duty garments and implements. Her skin would be sunburned and spotted with calamine lotion, her hair a tousled mess under her protective headgear of choice. She would look more like a soldier heading into battle than a relaxed grandmother.
We rarely see pictures of the work, only of the results. Therefore, our expectations are skewed and when we don’t see those results right away, we believe it’s a personal failing.
There is good news for us, and bad news, and they are both the same: It’s supposed to be hard. People, like plants, don’t grow overnight, and we need a lot of help and cultivating to come out right. We will do well to stop comparing ourselves to the rest of the world’s yards and instead dig in where we are.
To that end, here are three resources I am using to stay motivated in the battle. I pass them on, hoping you will find encouragement, too.
1. Almost anything that Steven Pressfield has to say, but especially his book called The War of Art. Best quote: “The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it. Resistance is experienced as fear; the degree of fear equates to the strength of Resistance. Therefore the more fear we feel about a specific enterprise, the more certain we can be that that enterprise is important to us and to the growth of our soul. That’s why we feel so much Resistance. If it meant nothing to us, there’d be no Resistance.”
2. I am reading the Bible all the way through for the first time in about 15 years. My aunt gave me a wonderful schedule for doing this, available by subscription through Samaritan’s Purse. Instead of slogging through chapter by chapter in order, it breaks it down into different sections daily (Tuesdays are history, Thursdays are poetry, etc.) – so much more conducive to success. You can find a similar breakdown here.
3. Tim Ferriss is my go-to guy for goals involving radical life changes / pursuits. He’s a maniac for health, and his approach is not for the faint of heart – but if you can stick with it, it will get you where you want to go fast.
Here’s to a productive 2013 for us all. May we yield at least a few blooms or fruits for ourselves and our loved ones by the end. If so, all that sweat and grime will be totally worth it.